[Dr. Charles Ashcraft, Evangelist]

GO TO OTHER MATERIALS BY CHARLES ASHCRAFT
The Horse
How To Love
How To Live Another Year
The Word Of God
How To Grow Old Gracefully
The Hitchin' Post
The Atonement
Animal Brain Duster
From My Observation

[GospelWeb.net Globe]

THE ANIMAL BRAIN DUSTER

Charles Ashcraft

Jesus made reference to Herod as a fox when Herod thought he could outsmart Him. When Jesus made reference to His own purpose and plan, He said to the Pharisees: "Go and tell that fox," (Luke 13:32). Thus, one reason for the following "Animal Brain Duster."

Though I have been referred to as the black sheep of the family, I have never been called a snake in the grass. Most men are said to be as stubborn as a mule, and I am one of them. I have been known to let the cat out of the bag, especially when someone tried to rat on me. A few times in my life, I have been accused of getting the cart before the horse. I admit, I have gone on a wild goose chase once in a while. I have never made it a habit, because I usually thought something was fishy.

To my knowledge, I have never been hen pecked; though a few times I have thought I might have been made a guinea pig.

Ask my friends; I have never tried to weasel out of anything. And, to my knowledge, I have never tried to take the lion's share. To tell you the truth, I am dog tired and it is raining like cats and dogs though I am not really a weather prophet. But, when I do put my eagle eye on something, I don't want to be like the fellow running around like a bull in a china closet. I admit, I do eat high on the hog once in a while, though I have never been known to open up a can of worms.

I never waste my time shedding crocodile tears because they are fake. Another good reason is: I could not see to hit the bull's eye.

All of this animal talk may sound kind of squirrelly, and if I make my next appointment, I must measure my distance as the crow flies. You see, as an Evangelist and a preacher of the Gospel, it has been rumored that I have been referred to as that old goat: not to mention the fact that I will be a little slow, because I am slightly pigeon toed. You can plainly see, if I don't go now I might have to eat crow.