[GospelWeb.net Globe]
The Gospel-24/7
Satans Tips For Ministry Success
From Fair Dinkum, #51, Feb., 1999)
Tips Guarantee Failure - Author Unknown
Follow Book & Flag

"1. Just preach God's love. Don't mention His sovereignty, or His judgment of sin.

2. Amuse. Use jokes and plenty of music, and rock music. Don't get deep into the Word of God.

3. Don't preach separation from the world, and its pleasures.

4. Don't preach holiness. God knows our weaknesses. We can't be just like Him.

5. Don't preach Bible prophecy; the return of Christ and coming judgment. It frightens people.

6. Preach that there's a big revival just around the corner (although the Bible teaches the opposite).

7. Don't preach sound doctrine. Major on emotional experiences, spiritual "highs", feelings.

8. Don't teach the Genesis record of creation. Educated people won't accept that.

9. Don't press for Bible study or prayer meetings. Give them plenty of fun and entertainment.

10. Don't teach the Lordship of Christ. That's taking things too far. Don't talk about the Blood of Christ, repentance, or sanctification. All denominations and religions are heading the same way. We simply must get together."

Go To Illustrations Index 1

Go To Free E-books Index

Go to Spurgeon Sermons Index

Go to Church Humor Index

Go To General Humor Index

Go To Southern, Texas, Yankee Joke Index