1. Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited -- until you try to sit in their pews.

2. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.

3. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

4. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes and roaches come close.

5. When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

6. People are funny: they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

7. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

8. Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn't belong.

9. The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion...."

10. If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.

11. Not only are the sins of the fathers visited upon the children, but nowadays the sins of the children are visited upon the fathers.

12. God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?

13. To make a long story short, don't tell it.

14. If your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is doing, you should consider running for a job in Washington, DC.

15. Some minds are like concrete: thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

16. Peace starts with a smile.

17. I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

18. A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just "sitting on the premises."

19. We were called to be witnesses, not judges.