How many church people does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one.
Hands already in the air.

Roman Catholics: None.
They use candles.

Pentecostals: Ten.
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None.
God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.

Episcopalians: Eight.
One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

Mormons: Five.
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarian Universalists:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Baptists: At least 10.
One to change the light bulb, a committee to approve the change. Oh, and also provide a casserole.

Lutherans: None.
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Methodists: 10
One to change the bulb. Nine to attack the preacher, because someone's grandmother gave that bulb to the church!!

Go To Illustrations Index 1

Go To Liberty Index #1

Go To Culture War Index

Go To Free E-books Index

Go to Spurgeon Sermons Index

Go to Church Humor Index

Go To General Humor Index

Go To Southern, Texas, Yankee Joke Index