From "Live and Learn and Pass It On"
Age 6 -- I've learned that if you spread the peas out on your plate, it looks like you ate more.
Age 7 -- I've learned that you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Age 7 -- I've learned that if you laugh and drink soda pop at the same time, it will come out your nose.
Age 10 -- I've learned that you should never jump out of a second story window using a sheet for a parachute.
Age 13 -- I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up.
Age 16 -- I've learned that when my parents are in a bad mood, it's best to agree to everything they say or things get nasty.
Age 27 -- I've learned that I should never praise my mother's cooking when I'm eating something fixed by my wife.
Age 30 -- I've learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
Age 31 -- I've learned that nothing really bad happens when you tear those little "do not remove" tags from pillows.
Age 42 -- I've learned that marrying for money is the hardest way of getting it.
Age 52 -- I've learned that if you like garlic salt and Tabasco sauce you can make almost anything taste good.
Age 53 -- I've learned that after age 50 you get the furniture disease. That's when your chest falls into your drawers.
Go to Church Humor Index
Go To General Humor Index
Go To Computer Humor Index
Go To Southern, Texas, Yankee Joke Index